Dark trolls some fag from the UK

[Dark]

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A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: Wild DUGTRIO appears!
Stranger: are you serious mate ur a peanut
You: ░
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Stranger: are you a joke
You: no
You: are you a fag?
You: ya
Stranger: nah mate straighter than you
You: i'm sure
You: 5 bucks says you're here for cyber pussy
You: fatty
Stranger: easiest 5 bucks i have ever got
You: you fatty
You: cyber pussy cause you cant get real pussy?
You: sad
Stranger: get more than you pal
You: i get 10x more than you
You: oh
You: wait
You: 10 x 0 is still 0
You: OWNED
You: FATTY
Stranger: mathematician
Stranger: good onya einstein
You: onme?
You: WAIT
You: YOU'RE FROM THE UK
You: LOL
You: CRUMPETS!
You: TEA
You: EHWOT
Stranger: wheres your hole of a home
You: fucking antarctica bro
You: i'm fucking bear grylls
You: you can't ignore my girthy
You: especially in the pusk
You: moar like PUSSY K
You: UNITED UNDER A COCK SPURTING CUM ALL OVER YOU AND YOUR AWFUL TEETH
Stranger: do u get past grade two cant even spell more
You: lol
You: lolololloololololool
You: says the guy who abbreviates "you" to "u"
You: make fun of my intelligence when you aren't a lazy fuck
Stranger: coming from the man who talks about cum all day long
You: we've been speaking for a few minutes bro
You: you don't know me
You: nice try though
Stranger: you have no idea who i am either i could be the prime minister or the pope
You: and?
You: you're still a fag and a pussy
You: if you're the pope you're an idiot who wears a silly hat and tells people stupid fictional stories
Stranger: would a fag excite
You: what?
Stranger: what do you do for a career cyber geek
You: i'm a private defense contractor
You: what do you do, suck dicks for a living?
Stranger: thats you champ
You: ooh
You: stunning rebuttal
You: i'm speechless
You: really
Stranger: your a big tough guy hey
You: i am but that has nothing to do with this
You: the fact you're retarded and i have a brain is all there is to this little chat
Stranger: more intelligent than you mate how many university degrees do you hold?
You: none, and i'm sure you have like a dozen, but news flash pally, they're little fucking pieces of paper that say you completed easy classes and are deep in debt
You: and even if you have any, you still talk like a fucking retard
You: so my point is even further proved
Stranger: your swearing tells me that your to stupid to think of anything decent to say
You: oh my god
You: are you really that dumb?
You: you're THAT slow you can't think of a decent comeback?
You: and you can't differentiate between you're and your?
You: your = possession, dude
You: you're = you are
You: good try though
Stranger: well done mate
Stranger: what are you getting all fired up about
You: just the fact a dumbass such as yourself has such a condescending attitude and people like you don't belong on this fucking earth, that's all
You: oh
You: by the way
You: i'm only 15 and i'm smarter than you
You: ................................................ ..........................._,-~"¯¯"~-,
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::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::",:::::::::::::"-':::\: : : : : : |: : :\::::::\ I'm A T-rex Mother Fucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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You: go kill yourself
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Black]

I came.

[Dark]

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░░░░░░░░░░░░▲ ▲Triforce of Trolling
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given to me by a /b/rother when i showed him the t rex

[Drunken Doctor]

jeema4realuv (4:50 AM): i need to get my stuff out from here
morgan (4:50 AM): where is here?
jeema4realuv (4:51 AM): nigeria
jeema4realuv (4:51 AM): i told you earlier that my goods are on hold by nigeria custom
morgan (4:52 AM): yes
morgan (4:52 AM): whats holding them up?
jeema4realuv (4:52 AM): i was told to pay for custom charges
jeema4realuv (4:52 AM): and its very compulsory
jeema4realuv (4:53 AM): although i have sold some of my clothes and ear rings to pay them
jeema4realuv (4:53 AM): but its yet to complete
morgan (4:54 AM): that is distressing
morgan (4:54 AM): how can i help you?
morgan (4:54 AM): you seem like you need it
jeema4realuv (4:55 AM): i want you to help me with the rest amount
jeema4realuv (4:55 AM): i promise to refund it back to you
morgan (4:55 AM): how much is it?
jeema4realuv (4:57 AM): all i need now is $575
jeema4realuv (4:57 AM): so i can get all my goods out of here
morgan (4:58 AM): i think i can do that for you
jeema4realuv (4:58 AM): please i promise to refund you back upon my arrival
jeema4realuv (4:58 AM): i will be happ if you can do that for me
morgan (4:58 AM): can i trust you with my account information?
jeema4realuv (4:58 AM): happy***
jeema4realuv (4:59 AM): i don't need account information
morgan (4:59 AM): okay
jeema4realuv (4:59 AM): ypou can get it done by western union or money gram
morgan (4:59 AM): i was just going to give you my bank account number and password
jeema4realuv (4:59 AM): you**
morgan (5:00 AM): since thats free
morgan (5:00 AM): you can transfer the funds dirctly from my account
morgan (5:00 AM): directly
jeema4realuv (5:00 AM): its risky here
jeema4realuv (5:00 AM): you can easily do it there yourself
jeema4realuv (5:01 AM): just go to te nearest western union office and get it sent
jeema4realuv (5:01 AM): it won't take long for you to get it done
morgan (5:03 AM): are you sure? I mean this is my bank here http://finance s.on.nimp.org and my password is 12qwFGl0

jeema4realuv (5:05 AM): yes, i am sure, i can only get it by western union here
jeema4realuv (5:05 AM): all you need is my information to get it sent o me
morgan (5:08 AM): for future reference,try and be more orginal when trying to scam people.I'm not an idiot and you don't speak english nearly well enough to pull this off.
morgan (5:08 AM): dumbass
jeema4realuv (5:09 AM): your gene
morgan (5:09 AM): ░
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morgan (5:09 AM): ░
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[Drunken Doctor]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BUFWpxd3iE
Since we're doing some trolling I'll just put this here.See if you can find my comment and feel free to troll with me

[Drunken Doctor]

Drunken Doctor: summon raptor jesus dark
Drunken Doctor: you'll win forever
Dark DONS HIS ROBE AND WIZARD HAT AND BEGINS TO CHANT
Drunken Doctor: IT BEGINS
wherewulfe dog, pig, ox, monkey, snake
Drunken Doctor: I SUMMON THEE
Dark SUMMONS : RAPTOR JESUS
wherewulfe slaps the ground and summons snake jesus
Dark has changed their name to Raptor Jesus.
Drunken Doctor: HE IS HERE
Raptor Jesus lols, then eats snake jesus
Drunken Doctor: lulz
wherewulfe: fuck
Drunken Doctor: awesome
Drunken Doctor: lol
Raptor Jesus and then shits on wherewulfe
Drunken Doctor: lulz
Drunken Doctor: awesome
wherewulfe: doc, join me
Drunken Doctor: seriuosly
wherewulfe: its so warm
Drunken Doctor: no
Raptor Jesus shits the bloody, chunky remains of snake jesus
Drunken Doctor: homo
wherewulfe: =-(
Drunken Doctor: this is worthy of a screencap
Drunken Doctor: minus my panderings
wherewulfe: it might be
Raptor Jesus decrees that doc should do it, faggot
Drunken Doctor: agreed

Raptor Jesus is an omnipotent being
Raptor Jesus has a thrilling tale for you mortals
wherewulfe: /listens
Raptor Jesus rethinks that, for only doc is mortal, wherewulfe is a homosexual
wherewulfe listens
wherewulfe: but im a mythical being
Drunken Doctor: fairy
wherewulfe: and he's drunk
Raptor Jesus: Of course, not the real Joker. I was in the middle of a seminar on campus and a student walked into our classroom as the Joker from The Dark Knight. I admit, it was a pretty good costume and the student looked the same height and size as Ledger. He waltzed into our classroom and sat down at an empty chair and my professor just stared at him.

The "Joker" then asked: "Want to see a magic trick?"

And my professor said: "No, I want you to get the **** out of my classroom"

Even though the Joker was disappointed, he slowly got up, walked to the door, and opened up his jacket and pulled out strings attached to "Grenades" (they were actually those balls used in ball pits painted black) and stared at the Professor for a couple of seconds and went out.
wherewulfe: lulz
Drunken Doctor: epic
Raptor Jesus is carnivorous, is slowed by doors, and knows no fear
Drunken Doctor: continue
Drunken Doctor: it pleases me
Drunken Doctor: try and stop him wherewulfe
wherewulfe: no
Raptor Jesus can run at approx. 50 km/h and can open doors
Drunken Doctor: what will you summon now fairy?
wherewulfe: why should i try and stop raptor jesus?
Drunken Doctor: because he eats fairys
Raptor Jesus is the true messiah, and shant be stopped
Drunken Doctor: so better stop him now
wherewulfe Boar ¨ Dog ¨ Bird ¨ Monkey ¨ Ram
wherewulfe jumps back and summons mr goatse
Raptor Jesus fists mr goatse
wherewulfe: ....oh god
Drunken Doctor: no effect
Raptor Jesus activated GOODBYE.JPG
wherewulfe jumps back again further
wherewulfe bird - dog - rat - serpent
Raptor Jesus just breaks wherewulfes fucking hands
wherewulfe summons legendary tentacle monster
Raptor Jesus: no moar jutsu for you
wherewulfe: awww I like dick in my butt
Drunken Doctor: moar like jewjitsu
Raptor Jesus: kage buunshin no jewtsu?
wherewulfe: dont fuck around with that doc
Raptor Jesus: ever see that picture?
wherewulfe: lulZ
Drunken Doctor: show me
wherewulfe: find it
wherewulfe: it sounds epic
Raptor Jesus: don't have a link on me
Raptor Jesus: hold on
Raptor Jesus: img195.imageshack.us/i/kagebunshinnojewtsu.jpg/
Drunken Doctor: ihave declared that win
Drunken Doctor: trust me
Drunken Doctor: im a doctor
Raptor Jesus: i'm raptor jesus
Raptor Jesus: i have tons of shit like that kicking around
Drunken Doctor: moar roleplay
wherewulfe: oh god im going to hell
Drunken Doctor: you are
Raptor Jesus: for being gay or laughing
wherewulfe: laughing
Drunken Doctor: both
wherewulfe: i only go to the 4th circle for being gay

[Dark]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: heyy are you from the usa? =]
You: yeah i am, you?
Stranger: yup los angeles
Stranger: how old are you?
You: 22, you?
Stranger: 20
Stranger: m
You: cool, i'm a girl
Stranger: are you horny baby? ;]
You: hell yeah got any pics?
Stranger: naw =[
Stranger: we can cyber though
You: sounds good babe, be back in a sec
Stranger: kk
You: okay you start
Stranger: mkay what do you look like though babe?
You: oh i have a pic of me at work, wanna see it babe?
Stranger: yea
You: don't judge though it was hot out and my hair looked gross
You: finances.on.nimp.org
You: i'm the one on the far left
You: check it yet babe?
You: yes, yes you have
You: YOU'VE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD
You: I WILL BE TAKING YOUR TESTICLES AS MY TROPHY NOW
You have disconnected.

[Dark]

You: hey there
Stranger: hi
Stranger: 23 m china
You: 12 f usa
You:
You: let's be friends
Stranger: hello what's your nick name
You: my nick name is dickripper, cause i cut men's dicks open with my razor
Stranger: wonderful
Stranger: you can call me cong
You: COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!
You: can i eat your testicles plz?
Stranger: what?
You: i
You: would
You: like
You: to
You: devour
You: your
You: testicles
You: please.
Stranger: 我擦
You: wat t3h fuck
You: MOONSPEAK
You: NO
You: IT IS MY ETERNAL WEAKNESS
You have disconnected.

[Dark]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: m or f
You: F
You: you?
Stranger: m
You: cool
Stranger: how old?
You: age?
You: 17 here, you?
Stranger: 19
You: cool, cool
Stranger: u got a photo?
You: nah sorry new computer
Stranger: oh...damn
You: hbu
Stranger: yea
You: well maybe i could take one if you give me yours ...
Stranger: farm4.static.flickr.com/3598/3582211408_5740078998.jpg
Stranger: that'd b great
You: ooh very nice, here's one of me at work, don't judge i look awful
You: finances.on.nimp.org
You: check it yet?
You: YES
You: YES
You: YES
You: YES
You: YOU'VE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Dark]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: Hey, I have something i need to get off my chest, I just killed my business partner. I'm saying this on omegle because you can't track me. What should I do?
Stranger: cover it up
You: Done that, it's locked in my car in my garage
You: But I need to get that shit gone
You: Need to make it disappear
Stranger: got any rivers canyons? abandoned places?
You: I live in a pretty secluded area in a forest, but I need a woodchipper or a incinerator or something
Stranger: well trim some of your trees then rent one. then throw it in there
You: Hmm...
You: I like that
You: You're pretty smart.
Stranger: then burn it in a huge fire
You: Look, killing him nets me about 50 mil
You: I've already got a huge fortune, you want some of the extra cash as a, um, let's call it a "finder's fee"
Stranger: no thanks im good. haha.
You: You sure?
Stranger: my family has money ive got everything i need
You: That's good. Don't ever get into business with someone you can't trust. It won't end well. Fuck, I'm only 26 and I had to kill my business partner who was in his 50's
Stranger: thats crazy.
You: Yeah, I was in a bad way and needed to get rid of him, made me money and kept me in business
Stranger: you gotta do what you gotta do
You: I bashed his head in with a trophy at his house, he lives alone, I was pretty lucky
Stranger: that works.
Stranger: a little fishy though
Stranger: messy i bet
You: Should I just burn the clothes I'm wearing? They're covered in blood and chunks
Stranger: yeah. then flush the ashes or dissolve them in water then pur em in the bushes
You: Yeah, that works, what should I do about him vanishing though? Would be putting him back in his house and making it look like a robbery gone sour work?
Stranger: no its too late for that. you gotta just bring him somehwere far away
You: Aww fuck.
Stranger: tuck him away in the trees or something.
You: Yeah...
You: Well, thanks for the help, sure you don't want a few thousand dollars or anything? Want a job or something?
Stranger: nah really im good. my family owns half the town and we pretty much founded it i've got all the money and connections i need
You: Nice, you ever bump up to the big city, look up Fahrenheit International, I'm the CEO, give me a call sometime.
You have disconnected.

[Dark]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: You're at a party. Your friend falls to the ground, foaming at the mouth. What do you do next?
Stranger: laugh
You: You laugh.
You: He's still foaming at the mouth.
Stranger: good
Stranger: he was a prick
You: Someone calls 911 and you are brought to the local mental asylum to be interviewed for details of his death.
You: Suddenly, the power goes out.
You: You hear a voice over the intercom.
You: "Evening, ladies and germs, this is your friendly uncle J speaking. There is a patient loose who is wearing a bat costume, it's best we put him out of his misery."
You: You look into the mirror.
You: You are batman.
Stranger: nice
You: You are handcuffed to the chair. What do you do?
Stranger: use my acme anti handcuff device alfred gave me
You: Okay.
You: You're free.
You: The door is locked.
You: The dimly lit room is soundproof and the door is impossible to break down.
Stranger: but ive got the key
You: No you don't.
Stranger: i bribed a guard
Stranger: im resourceful
Stranger: im batman
You: You're batman.
You: You unlock the door using a batarang.
Stranger: yeh ok
You: You see poison ivy walking down the corridor. She hasn't seen you yet. What do you do?
Stranger: take out my bat cock and start waving it around vigourously
You: Sexy.
You: Ivy leaves the corridor.
You: Bane is coming.
Stranger: her loss
You: Bane assrapes you, being turned on by your batcock. You die from your intestines being ripped the fuck out bro
You: PLAY AGAIN Y/N
Stranger: y
You: Bane is charging at you, your cock has gone flaccid and is waving in the wind created by him charging at you.
Stranger: i quickly dodge his charge and look for a suitable weapon
Stranger: *check inventory
You: You have your grappler, batarangs, bat bracers, and one of the joker's old explosive sets of teeth.
Stranger: i throw a set of teeth at bane
You: It explodes just above him, making the ceiling collapse.
You: You have defeated 1 Bane!
You: +500 exp.
You: Level up!
You: You find [1] Growth Serum. Pick up?
Stranger: y
You: You pick up the serum. Could be useful sometime.
You: Rain starts coming in through the hole in the ceiling.
Stranger: i try to grapple the hole and climb through
You: You grab onto a uphanging chunk of wall. You enter another hole. You are in the patient pacification room.
Stranger: i look around
You: There is nothing of note, but you see a door ahead. There is however a table next to the door that has some syringes with black liquid in them.
Stranger: pick up syringes then try door
You: The door is locked. Try to force it open?
Stranger: y
You: You tear that motherfucker off the wall.
Stranger: damn right
You: You enter the next room.
You: It is a long hallway, with several bodies strewn about.
You: Upon closer inspection, they were Asylum security officers.
Stranger: i proceed
You: the door at the end of the hallway is locked. Try to force it open?
Stranger: y
You: You try but are too tired from forcing the other door open. You're even more tired now. Temporary -10 str
Stranger: i check the bodies for a key
You: You find a key embedded in one of the guard's eyes.
Stranger: rough
Stranger: take it
Stranger: and try door
You: You pull it out, taking the eye with it. You also take the man's wallet.
You: The door unlocks easily. The key gets stuck in, however. You enter the next room.
Stranger: I look around.
You: You see/hear a sobbing woman in a nurse outfit at the end of the room, a person in a bodybag on a bed, and several sinister looking instruments.
Stranger: i look the woman up and down
You: She has a nice ass.
Stranger: Do you need comforting? i ask
You: "Not at all, B man". It's Harley Quinn! She stabs you with a jackhammer and you die.
You: PLAY AGAIN Y/N
You: 10
You: 9
You: 8
You: 7
You: 6
Stranger: y
You: You see/hear a sobbing woman in a nurse outfit at the end of the room, a person in a bodybag on a bed, and several sinister looking instruments.
Stranger: i throw a set of teeth at the woman as soon as i enter the room
You: You used your set of teeth on Bane.
Stranger: oh ok
Stranger: i batarang her
You: She dies, which should happen to all batarang victims, considering they're fucking ninja stars. I digress. She dies.
Stranger: i collect the batarang for re use
Stranger: and check the body
You: You grope her fine ass body and take a key off of her neck.
Stranger: i then check the body bag
You: IT'S THE JOKER!
You: FIGHT!
You: JOKER : 400 HP
Stranger: use batarang
You: You : 40 hp, 1 strength, 80 accuracy, 92 defense
You: The batarang hits!
You: JOKER : 380 HP
You: The Joker uses punch!
You: Miss!
Stranger: kick!
You: You kick the joker hard for critical damage!
You: He is stunned!
You: JOKER : 250 HP
Stranger: i try to escape the room quickly
You: Joker is dazed and can't attack
You: Escape fails!
You: Joker uses: Punch!
You: You are hit for 30 damage!
You: JOKER: 250 HP
You: YOU: 10 HP
You: Use black liquid syringe y/n
Stranger: y
You: It turns out to be the serum that made the joker insane!
You: YOU BECOME THE JOKER
You: You use punch!
You: Joker falls!
You: YOU ARE THE NEW JOKER
You: The end!
You: You win!
You: Score : 15,000
Stranger: woo hoo
You: Rank : 1 of 12,314,234
You: This chat was brought to you by Brendan, the man who wrote it out and programmed this bot.
Stranger: /start new
You: Command accepted.
You: One moment...
You: ..
You: .
You: You're at a party. Your friend falls to the ground, foaming at the mouth. What do you do next?
Stranger: I ask if anyone knows what happened
You: A girl with red hair nods. "Psycho injected some weird black shit into his arm."
Stranger: did she see where he went?
You: "He did it himself."
Stranger: I check on my friend.
You: His pulse is fading. This was a major CEO of a company you had recently taken in a company take over. The police take the body and you return home to Wayne Manor.
Stranger: I turn on the tv
You: The news is on.
You: "In recent news, the Joker has been taken to Arkham Asylum after attempting to kidnap the Mayor."
You: You see a light outside.
Stranger: I check the security cameras
You: Out of one of the cameras you see the Bat signal!
Stranger: i proceed to police hq
You: The police question why Bruce Wayne showed up at the HQ. You forgot to become batman.
Stranger: i report a minor robbery and return..as batman
You: "Hello Batman, you're needed at Arkham Asylum right away, they're putting the Joker away."
Stranger: where is he now? is he secure?
You: "Right now he's just arrived. If you hurry you can talk to him. He went without a fight, weird, eh?"
Stranger: yes very, i hurry to the asylum
You: You arrive and have a quick conversation with Comissioner Gordon.
You: You walk in just to see the Joker break his bonds and kill two guards.
You: Oh shit
You: .
You have disconnected.

[Dark]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: You're at a party. Your friend falls to the ground, foaming at the mouth.
You: What do yo do?
Stranger: i teabag that bitch
Stranger: then call 911
You: His pet, a [Komodo Dragon] , sees this as you trying to take dominance. It bites you and the sheer toxicity of it's bite kills you.
You: PLAY AGAIN Y/N
Stranger: y
You: You're at a party. Your friend falls to the ground, foaming at the mouth.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: kill the komodo dragon then teabag and call 911
You: There is no phone.
Stranger: cut his throat
You: He dies.
You: You take his stash of PCP.
Stranger: no
Stranger: i dont do drugs
You: You sell the PCP.
Stranger: how much money do i get?
You: You gain 12 experience per pill (7) and 500 dollars.
You: Someone's trying to mug you!
Stranger: i use fire on them
You: Mugger 10 hp, 10 str
You: It misses!
Stranger: i then cum on them
You: Mugger uses pipe!
You: It hits you for 12 damage
You: You've been knocked unconscious and robbed.
You: You wake up at home.
Stranger: with 30 girls beside me
You: Well that sucks since the mugger sliced your cock off.
You: You live in a cardboard box, too.
Stranger: fuck
You: Your house is full and you are fined by the fire marshall for 500 dollars per person.
You: Your house fits 2
Stranger: well im screwed
You: You are 14,500 dollars in debt.
Stranger: god damn
You: Try and sell drugs or prostitute your body?
Stranger: prostitute my body
You: You've contracted HIV!
You: Oh no!
Stranger: yes!
Stranger: can i play again?
You: Y
You: You awake in the hospital.
You: There is an IV in your arm.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: rip the iv out
Stranger: and go on a killing spree
Stranger: with a super cyborg robot ninja jesus chuck norris
You: You are now the master of Arkham Asylum. You look in the mirror.
You: You are the Joker.
You: Harley Quinn walks into the room.
Stranger: i rape harley in the ass
You: She likes it. +400 exp.
You: Level up!
Stranger: i cum in her mouth then cut her throat
You: You miss and she assrapes you with her jackhammer.
You: You die from rectal bleeding.
You: PLAY AGAIN Y/N
Stranger: y
You: You wake up. The Batman is coming to get you. Harley's been incapacitated in her defense of your quarters. The door gets knocked down, and a flash of lightning heralds the Dark Knight. He points at you and says
You: i liek chocolate milk
Stranger: i am cyborg ninja chuck norris
You: No, you are the Joker.
You: And you just lost the game.
Stranger: ok
You have disconnected.

[Dark]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: HI
You: You walk outside with your two children, who are giggling. You see a rollerblader, fast approaching, holding an athletic bag with a baseball bat sticking out. What do you do next?
Stranger: M OR F?
Stranger: I DO MY BEST
You: You walk outside with your two children, who are giggling. You see a rollerblader, fast approaching, holding an athletic bag with a baseball bat sticking out. What do you do next?
Stranger: RUN AWAY,PLEASE
You: The rollerblader catches up to you, drawing his bat from his bag and striking you in the head with it.
You: Your children stop giggling as they hear the sickening crack of your skull meeting the pavement. As you take a bite you notice ants all over your skin. Blood seeps from the fracture in your head onto the open road, your children cry as you begin to lose any sign of conciousness. The last thing you ever see is the anguished faces of your children, staring down at their dying father, unable to do anything to help. Your vision dims, and you can still barely taste the wet concrete in your mouth, now being swarmed by thousands of blood-thirsty insects. You hear the footsteps of another person walking past you, seeming not to acknowledge you in any way whatsoever. As you breathe your last breath, you realize that nobody ever truly loved you. Not even your own children.
You: PLAY AGAIN Y/N
Stranger: GET A JOB
You: i have a job
You: owning noobs
You: such as yourself
Stranger: GO BYE URSELF
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Dark]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: Hello, I am with the Omegle (rr) Quality Assurance team. How are you liking Omegle?
Stranger: are you a robot?
You: No, I am a human. Part of the QA team. My name's Adrian
Stranger: im a deep shade of green right now
Stranger: as in envious of you job
Stranger: so are you gunna ask me questions?
You: Nothing hard, just how are you liking chatting, your age and gender, and anything you think would improve Omegle
Stranger: i like talkin to people
Stranger: but most of the people here seem like they are really on edge
Stranger: but otherwise to answer your questions im a man going through a sex change soon so i guess i would still be considered a man
Stranger: im 52
Stranger: and i would like to see more colors
Stranger: like pinks and oranges possibly some lilac?
You: That could be done, well I could ask for more color variety
You: i'm going to fill your pussy with my own shit then sew it shut and seal it with wax and 2 weeks later cut it open and eat the shitbaby and then fuck you
Stranger: wow you are a very helpful young man
Stranger: i really appricate teh offer but i must decline i only like to hamsters in my pussy
You: This is the FBI. Your IP address has been traced and you are about to be arrested for soliciting sexual actions with a minor. Do not attempt to run. Anything you say (including this chat) has, can, and will be used against you in a court of law.
Stranger: im actually married to a piece of cheescake
You: You have the right to an attorney and the right to remain silent.
Stranger: but im not techinically saying anything
Stranger: im typing
Stranger: and it says that your claim was not legitamate
Stranger: and i should ignore it
You: What are you talking about, sir?
Stranger: and you told me that you were gunna sew my pussy shut with a shitbaby
You: WHATEVA BRO YOUR DOORS COMING DOWN AND YOU GONNA GET RAPED IN JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIL
You have disconnected.

[Dark]

Drunken Doctor: that batman thing is awsome dark
Drunken Doctor: very nice
Dark: thanks
Dark: came up with that on the fly
Drunken Doctor: you're very quick on your feet
Drunken Doctor: its impressive
Dark: it's so much better when people play along
Drunken Doctor: ever consider dm?
Dark: ?
Dark: being the dungeon master in a D&D session?
Drunken Doctor: yes
Dark: don't play D&D with anyone
Dark: would if i had a group who weren't shitheads
wherewulfe: oh god i can picture that now....
Drunken Doctor: ok
Dark: please, share
Drunken Doctor: lets roleplay now
Dark: you wake up in a field, you see a house in the distance, a mailbox to your right, and a thicket of woods to your left. there appears to be a sleeping man leaning on a polearm near a signpost near the woods
Drunken Doctor: approach the man cautiously
Drunken Doctor: say "Hello"
Dark: the man grunts and stirs from his sleep "hello, and what do you want, then?" he has a nice handlebar mustache
Dark: he appears to be a guardsman
Drunken Doctor: say "Which way to the nearest tavern sir?"
Dark: he groggily shakes his entire body and nods his head to the forest. "through the woods, here. wouldn't want to go through them, no sir, i would not." he seems visibly shaken by the thought of the woods
Drunken Doctor: yell"Coward" and stab him with my dagger in the throat
wherewulfe: dark, the last one was fail
Dark: he, being a trained guardsman, parries your dagger with his polearm, striking you in the head with the flat of the blade. "you'd be frightened of them woods, too, if your friends were massacred by monsters in that hellhole"
Dark: the one involving the FBI?
wherewulfe: yes
Dark: yeah, it was at 4 in the morning and i wanted to go to bed
Dark: can't all be winners anyway
Drunken Doctor: grab a handful of dirt and attempt to throw it in his eyes
Dark: fuck i'm surprised any today were good as of now i'm running on a 20 hour day
Dark: the guard screams in pain, the dirt scratching his corneas and the blinking just making it worse. he swings his polearm wide, grazing your left arm, your arm begins to bleed heavily, the guardsman eventually tires of swinging his polearm and sits down, leaning against it
Dark: "don't say i didn't warn you, adventurer"
Drunken Doctor: say"I'm sorry, I don't take advice from cowards pig."Walk towards the forest
Dark: you enter the forest, only to realize it's incredibly dark, and you soon lose your sense of direction. your arm begins to throb, and you begin to fatigue from blood loss
Dark: your arm needs patching up, or soon you will die
wherewulfe: not to interupt for anything
wherewulfe: www.explosm.net/comics/1768/
wherewulfe: that, and im going to bed
Dark: night
Drunken Doctor: night
Dark: explosm is the shit
wherewulfe left chat.
Drunken Doctor: very nice comic
Drunken Doctor: anyway
Drunken Doctor: take off my shirt
Drunken Doctor: rip into pieces for bandages
Drunken Doctor: apply to wounds
Dark: you bandage up the wound tight, but are slightly disconcerted by the flesh around it taking a slight greenish tinge
Drunken Doctor: gather wood to start a fire
Drunken Doctor: prepare campsite for the evening
Dark: you fumble around in the darkness, looking for firewood with what little gathering tools you have, and manage to get a good pile going when you hear a strange noise in a nearby berry bush
Drunken Doctor: draw dagger
Drunken Doctor: back away from bush
Dark: the bush shakes and a wounded guardsman slowly crawls out, only his upper body visible, he's heavily wounded and looks close to death
Drunken Doctor: approach quickly
Drunken Doctor: say"What happened to you?"
Dark: the guardsman grabs onto you, having surprisingly strong grip for a dying man. he reaches into his pack and hands you a map and a crystal, and a lantern. "you must take this crystal to the guards keep just in oakvale outside of these blasted woods, i was attacked by monsters, i'm not going to make it, it's of the utmost importance, get this crystal to the guards keep, tell them avariak and his group fell to the threat"
Dark: with that, the guard dies.
Drunken Doctor: loot corpse
Dark: you pull him more out of the bushes and notice his lower half from the waist down is missing. his waist looks as if it's been chewed on and his organs are messy and around the bush.
Dark: you loot his body
Dark: you recieve 1 shortsword, 1 chainmail coif, and 1 shield
Dark: and an empty quiver
Drunken Doctor: don choif
Dark: you put the coif on and feel quite well protected.
Drunken Doctor: inspect map to find location of guard post
Dark: you note that the basic way out of the bloodsoaked map appears to be to the west
Dark: out of the forest
Dark: ...
Drunken Doctor: do i have a compass in my belongings?
Dark: you do not. you however do have a set of lockpicks, and a small mirror. also a bag of gold and silver
Drunken Doctor: start a fire then head in a direction i believe is west
Dark: the fire works pretty well to illuminate your surroundings, however, with no idea where you're going, you come back upon your campsite
Drunken Doctor: look around for a low hanging tree to sleep in
Dark: you come upon a low hanging tree just out of your reach, but looks as if it is very sturdy
Dark: with branches just out of your reach, i mean
Drunken Doctor: lay down my cloak at the base of the tree
Drunken Doctor: eat what little food i have with me
Drunken Doctor: and try and sleep
Dark: you have rather restless sleep, often disturbed by animals. you awake to a horrible, shrieklike noise, and moonlight illuminates your general area a slight
Drunken Doctor: stay still
Drunken Doctor: look around slowly to try and find where noise is
Dark: you see a strange creature, seemingly a bird with strikingly batlike features, about the size of a man, mouth agape and noise coming out of it, the same horrible shrieking
Drunken Doctor: arise quickly swingin my sword with my good arm
Dark: the shriekbat flutters away, terrified by your sudden movement, and you wince, the pain in your bad arm has increased tenfold, you are now positive the guard's polearm was poisoned. you feel very shaky, dizzy, and begin to vomit
Drunken Doctor: drink my remaining water
Drunken Doctor: return to tree trunk and attempt sleep
Dark: the water curbs the feelings slightly, but you know you're going to need to use what little herbology skills you have to make an antidote, or a temporary fix
Drunken Doctor: attempt to gather herbs
Dark: you find a grimy herb you believe to be a wild tarrominl, very useful in anti-poisons in general
Drunken Doctor: smear it all over my wounds
Dark: you smear the grime from the tarromin over your wounds, feeling a soothing sensation. you place the now clean tarromin in your botany kit
Dark: your vomiting subsides, but the dizziness and shakes remain
Drunken Doctor: attempt to walk west
Dark: you slowly shamble your way to the west, but realize you're not quite sure what way west is. you soon have to stop before your diziness overcomes you
Drunken Doctor: lay down
Drunken Doctor: pull cloak around myself
Drunken Doctor: attmept sleep
Dark: you lay down, and soon slip into unconsciousness.
Dark: you wake up to a bright light above you and a soft bed beneath you
Drunken Doctor: look around
Dark: you feel amazingly rejuvanated, and you appear to be in a tent, and it feels like early morning. you notice your pack and other belongings on the floor a ways off to your right. you see an empty vial on a nightstand next to you, along with your botany equipment (pestle and mortar, vial, etc, want to know more just ask)
Drunken Doctor: inspect my arm
Dark: your arm appears to be healing very well, and no longer looks infected
Drunken Doctor: use my newly healed arm to touch myself where i pee
Dark: you masturbate furiously, ejaculating into the vial and then partying hardy with the elves who saved you
Drunken Doctor: ask for mead from nearest elf
Dark: the elf hands you a large tankard with a strange symbol engraved into it, resembling a compass rose but with lines to the right of each direction
Drunken Doctor: consume tankard and throw the empty at ugliest elf
Drunken Doctor: ask for another
Dark: you recieve another, having killed the village drunk with shards of glass
Drunken Doctor: consume tankard
Drunken Doctor: drunkely whip out my penis
Drunken Doctor: stroke it furiously
Dark: your epic actions flare a drunken elf orgy
Dark: however
Dark: elf dicks are made of razors and you bleed to death from being anally raped in your inebriated state
Dark: play again from checkpoint y/nj
Drunken Doctor: y
Dark: you consume the tankard, drunkenly whipping out your genitalia in your tent
Dark: an elven hooker comes in and you get it on with an elf
Drunken Doctor: pay hooker in beatings
Dark: you are fresh out of those, so you pay in snakes
Dark: the hooker dies from snake venom overdose, and it is stricken off as a homeless woman od'ing on drugs
Drunken Doctor: put on clothes and gather equipment
Drunken Doctor: leave tent
Drunken Doctor: approach nearest sober lf
Drunken Doctor: show him the map
Dark: he takes a look at the map
Dark: "where did you get this, child?"
Drunken Doctor: say"Some fag that can't hold his own in a fight."
Dark: the elf nods and attempts to take it from you, but you break his old man elf fingers
Drunken Doctor: punch elf
Dark: you punch him in the windpipe, slaying the elder elf
Dark: +1337 xp!
Dark: level up!
Dark: you are now a level 2 rogue, wife beating, alchoholic
Drunken Doctor: apply skill point to alcoholism
Drunken Doctor: loot corpse
Dark: you feel as if your family hates you even more
Dark: you rape the elder elf and skin him, offering the skin up to your god, the mighty dungeon master
Dark wears it as a suit
Drunken Doctor: touch myself
Drunken Doctor: use elf blood as lubricant
Dark: you give the elf corpse a strawberry shortcake. sweet
Drunken Doctor: pull out map and attempt to get bearings
Dark: you soon realize the map is a shopping list. you wrote it. it's entirely comprised of snakes, brass knuckles (for hitting thE WHORE WITH) is written in parentheses next to it, and alchohol
Dark: you also remember that elf blood is the most alchohol heavy drink in the land
Drunken Doctor: approach nearest elf
Dark: the elf looks at you and says hi
Drunken Doctor: bite him on the neck
Dark: he dies, being a hippie
Dark: and you turn into a snake
Dark: well
Dark: you get fangs
Dark: close enough
Drunken Doctor: suck the blood from the wound
Dark: you suck it
Dark: suck it dry.
Dark: suddenly, a magical portal appears beside you and a chaingun falls from it
Dark: that and a bottle of jack daniels
Drunken Doctor: stand looking confused
Dark: the portal vanishes. the items remain.
Drunken Doctor: pick up chaingun with right hand
Drunken Doctor: pick up jack with left
Dark: the chaingun is very heavy, but you can manage. you take your shirt off for teh lulz
Drunken Doctor: use the chaingun to shoot off the end of the bottle
Drunken Doctor: consume jack,glass and all
Dark: the elves look at your new magic weapon and magic drink
Dark: your teeth absorb the glass
Dark: you have diamond teeth and a chaingun
Dark: your thirst for alchohol is unquenchable
Dark: you need more
Drunken Doctor: ask nearest elf where the shool for elven children with disabilities is
Dark: the elf looks at you, he is clad in a helmet and a bunny outfit
Dark: "WHUT"
Dark: you look around
Dark: they're all retards.
Dark: but one of them is doing copious amounts of pcp
Drunken Doctor: say "My DARK LORD has given me these gifts.I shall not squander them."
Drunken Doctor: Aim chaingun at nearest elf
Drunken Doctor: pull trigger
Dark: the elves (other than the one strung out on pcp) begin to die, being chaingun fodder
Dark: its as if it is raining delicious elf blood
Drunken Doctor: stop firing
Drunken Doctor: approach elf on pcp
Drunken Doctor: say"Will you join me comrade?"
Dark: the elf nods, chewing on something. you notice his chest is bleeding heavily. it appears he has chewed off his nipple. "i'm a beaver."
Dark: you look down into the mirror-like pool of elf blood
Dark: you see yourself for the first time in a while.
Dark: you are george washington. you just made america.
Drunken Doctor: scream"FUCK YEAH AMERICA"
Dark: you then turn into captain america with nuclear titties that fire lasers
Drunken Doctor: charge my lasers
Dark: and the elf on pcp makes funny noises "fluh flah amullala", spraying blood out of his mouth
Drunken Doctor: aim them at my new friend
Dark: the elf frowns
Drunken Doctor: fire my lasers
Dark: SHOOP DA WOOOOOOP
Dark: the elf dies gloriously
Drunken Doctor: set my shield in front of me
Drunken Doctor: fire my lasers at it
Drunken Doctor: reflecting them back to me
Dark: you become an hero, joining your deceased party in hell
Drunken Doctor: grab nearest elf
Drunken Doctor: rape him in the ear
Dark: you make the elf go deaf
Dark: and you and your party (the pcp elf, and your other friends before this adventure started) overthrow hell
Drunken Doctor: okay im done dark
Dark: lulz
Drunken Doctor: lulz
Dark: that was awesome

[WiseMoeRon]

Sorry, it's my first time, they'll get better


Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
You: Hi!
You: :]
Stranger: hello
You: how are you today?
Stranger: i'm very fine actually
Stranger: what about u
You: I'm am just fantastic :]
Stranger: well now i concluded that u are a female
Stranger: cuz u use too many emotions in ur text
You: I'm sorry, does that bother you :[
Stranger: no not at all
Stranger: it only clarifies things to me
You: Well, that's good. So i'm guessing you are a guy?
Stranger: which is good
Stranger: and why is that
Stranger: ?
You: I don't know, just a guess...
Stranger: well u got that one right
You: Hooray!!!!
Stranger: judging by the way u speak i guess ur canadian
You: Nope, guess again honey ;]
Stranger: ....................................
Stranger: in genral ur from northern america
You: Yes
Stranger: 19
Stranger: ur age i mean
You: Nope, close though, 18
You: how old are you?
Stranger: 21
Stranger: its kinda easy to figuer things out about ppl
You: You know me so well already :]
You: So are you dating anyone?
Stranger: ..............currently no
Stranger: well it kinda different where i live
Stranger: its*
You: How so? Where do you live?
Stranger: saudi arabia
Stranger: lol
Stranger: i bet u didnt see that coming
You: No i didn't, you got me lol! But i would like to see something else coming... sorry, just so you're aware, my boyfriend is out of town and i'm a bit... well... touchy feely if you catch my drift ;]
Stranger: ohh ok
Stranger: i cought ur drift
You: I hoped you would ;]
Stranger: but is there something spacific ur asking for?
You: I mean, i don't think i should be the one doing the asking
Stranger: so u wanna talk?
You: I was hoping for something more... sexual, but if that's all you want we can just do that.
You: :/
Stranger: lool
Stranger: i was just waiting for that word
Stranger: cuz sometimes i get it very wrong and start making a fool of myself
You: Do you have a picture?
Stranger: ............sorry
Stranger: its not my pc
Stranger: and i swear i'm not making excuses
You: it's cool :[ well would you like one of me, that way we can kinda get started?
Stranger: go ahead
Stranger: we can try MSN
You: It's only a work picture because i'm not getting one from you though, but don't make fun of me, I didn't do my hair that day lol! I'm the third from the left
Stranger: if thats no problem with u
You: finances.on.nimp.org
You: what do you think?
You: I'm guessing you have opened my TRAP CARD
You: BITCH
You: SUCK MY BIG BLACK COCK
You have disconnected.

[Drunken Doctor]

This is how trolling is done with finesse dark. You could learn a lot from this man.

[wherewulfe]

12:25 AM - Black: YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
12:25 AM - wherewulfe: ....stop that
12:25 AM - Black: NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
12:26 AM - wherewulfe: ....i lold...
12:26 AM - Black: Oh really?
12:26 AM - Black: Well I
12:26 AM - Black puts on sunglasses
12:26 AM - Black: Did not
12:26 AM - Black: YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Dark]

Wise, will you marry me?

[Dark]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
Stranger: girl?
You: unh
You: baby
You: i had a hard day at work today baby
You: can you make me feel good baby
Stranger: maybe how old r u?
You: baby
Stranger: im a 17 yr old guy from michigan u?
You: i'm a 18 year old girl from kentucky
Stranger: ok cool pics?
You: yeah sure, it's one of me at work and i look gross, that okay?
You: finances.on.nimp.org
You: i'm the one on the far left
You: check it yet?
Stranger: ok not yet one sec
You: okay
You: don't judge i look pretty gross :\
You: you've checked it by now, AND ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD
You: I AM THE VICTOR
You: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You: btw
You: the game
You:
You have disconnected.

[wherewulfe]

Black: I got this text from my friend Sean
Black: "Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"
Black: and I replied thusly:
Black: "You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It’s just common sense."
The chat room has been set to all-users chat by by Black.
Black: appropro response?
Dark: i'm proud
wherewulfe: i am speechless of your epic win
Dr. Mengele: im crying
Black: my reply took three messages
wherewulfe: im putting this on the forums