Dark
CPL
Good Demoman[Xb0:xXDarkDestroyer]
Posts: 80
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Post by Dark on Jan 28, 2009 23:19:00 GMT -5
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Post by Team Jerk on Jan 29, 2009 11:06:56 GMT -5
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Dark
CPL
Good Demoman[Xb0:xXDarkDestroyer]
Posts: 80
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Post by Dark on Jan 29, 2009 15:09:43 GMT -5
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Post by Black on Jan 29, 2009 15:31:52 GMT -5
ಠ_ಠ
Due to extensive research done by the 502nd University of Science, diamond has been confirmed as the hardest metal known to man. The research is as follows.
Pocket-protected scientists built a wall made of iron and crashed a diamond car into it at 400 miles per hour. The car was unharmed.
They then built a wall out of diamond and crashed a car made of iron into it at 400 miles per hour. The wall was fine.
They then crashed a diamond car made of 400 miles per hour into a wall. There were no survivors.
They crashed 400 miles per hour into a diamond traveling at iron car. Western New York was powerless for hours.
They rammed a wall of metal into a 400 mile per hour made of diamond. The resulting explosion shifted the earth's orbit 400 million miles away from the sun, saving the earth from a meteor the size of a small Washington suburb that was hurtling towards midwestern Prussia at 400 billion miles per hour.
They shot a diamond made of iron at a car traveling at 400 walls per hour. The result caused two wayward planes to lose their bearings and make a fatal crash into two buildings in downtown New York.
They then spun 400 miles of diamond into an iron per wall. The results were inconclusive.
Finally, they placed 400 diamonds per hour infront of a car made of wall traveling at miles. The result proved that diamonds were the hardest metal of all time, if not the hardest metal known to man
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Post by Drunken Doctor on Jan 29, 2009 16:25:10 GMT -5
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Post by Black on Jan 29, 2009 19:04:41 GMT -5
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Post by Team Jerk on Feb 9, 2009 21:45:31 GMT -5
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Post by wherewulfe on Feb 12, 2009 16:12:38 GMT -5
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Post by wherewulfe on Feb 12, 2009 16:16:05 GMT -5
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Post by wherewulfe on Feb 12, 2009 16:47:00 GMT -5
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Dark
CPL
Good Demoman[Xb0:xXDarkDestroyer]
Posts: 80
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Post by Dark on Feb 12, 2009 17:25:56 GMT -5
Ok, this is really hard for me, but the questions just keep coming so...
I'm going to sit down for this if you don't mind.
I was born a soldier. I always had a rocket launcher but I didn't really know what it was for when I was young. Like most soldiers, I first had the "talk" with my father, where he explained that, when I was older, I'd meet an enemy pyro and I'd fire my rocket launcher at him and... well, you know.
Gross, I know, but I guess every soldier needs that talk. Only... it didn't really feel right to me. You know? Like it wasn't what I was meant to do.
What could I do though? So in my early teens, I did what was expected. I ran around firing off my rocket launcher at any pyro I could find. And believe me, I could find a lot of pyros. I wasn't getting any fulfillment out of it, but it was what was expected of me.
One day, it all changed. Some friends and I were attending a party and the demo kept handing out booze. Lord knows where he kept getting it. We all got pretty ripped and... well, my dad would hate me for mentioning this but... I tried on a lab coat. It was just a joke at first but then I... I put the gloves on too. And the shoes. Then, trembling, I lifted the glasses to my face. It was scary. But it was also the first time I felt... free. Like this was what I was supposed to be.
After that night, I secretly began dressing as a medic and going to different hangouts, pretending to "heal" other soldiers. I got such a thrill out of it, but was still afraid of what would happen if my friends... or my parents... ever found out.
So I lived two lives. A soldier in my everyday, common world, and a medic at night. Over the years, I became more and more convinced that I was a medic in a soldier's body. After I graduated high school, I finally got up the courage to tell my father. He took it about as well as I expected. I had so many bruises from the shovel, I couldn't even move for the next three days.
I didn't think he'd understand. How could he? His only son... a medic! We haven't spoken since then.
Soon after, I began taking medical hormones. I wore my lab coat and glasses everywhere. It was all preparing for the big day. The day I would have my rocket launcher removed and a instead have a medigun grafted onto me.
A lot of medics I've talked to said it was the biggest decision of their life. For me, though, there was no decision. This was who I was. I went to Thailand to have the operation. A lot of people think they just chop the rocket launcher off and that really couldn't be further from the truth. It's actually inverted during the surgery and becomes the medigun. It was exhausting and, once again, I couldn't move for three days.
Afterwards though, I had the medigun... my medigun! My hormone treatments had me speaking with a German accent. I was finally... a medic.
It's been two years, four months, and fifteen days since I became who I was supposed to be at birth. I hope my story has broken down some walls for those of you who look at opposing medics and can only scowl in derision or stare in confusion. We're people too, just like you.
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Post by Drunken Doctor on Feb 12, 2009 21:22:16 GMT -5
Dark have you been reading wherewulfe's diary again?
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Post by wherewulfe on Feb 13, 2009 11:31:49 GMT -5
*tear* I like dick in my butt
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Post by Black on Feb 13, 2009 17:00:44 GMT -5
It's okay, fwaffles, we all like to lie to ourselves about what we like sexually.
Sometimes I even tell myself that I want to settle down one day and find a stable relationship with a caring woman who doesn't like it when I hit her.
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Post by wherewulfe on Feb 13, 2009 17:17:42 GMT -5
i sometimes think about thinking for myself and for standing up in what i believe in. then i remember i dont have a soul
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Dark
CPL
Good Demoman[Xb0:xXDarkDestroyer]
Posts: 80
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Post by Dark on Feb 13, 2009 21:33:14 GMT -5
Say, everybody, have you seen Demoman?
He's big and salty and brown.
If you ever need a quick pick me up
just stick his stickies in your mouth.
Oooo suck on my chocolate salted stickies
stick em in your mouth, and suck em!
Suck on my chocolate salted stickies,
they're packed full of vitamins, and good for you.
So suck on my stickies.
Quarter cup of unsweetened nitroglycerin,
and a half a cup of whiskey.
You throw in a bag or two of gunpowder
and just a pinch of shrapnel.
Lube up the assembly line.
Cause I love when my stickies stick.
Then preheat the forge to three fifty
and give those bombs a lick.
Say everybody have you seen my stickies
they're big and salty and brown.
If you ever need a quick pick me up
just stick my stickies in your mouth.
Suck on my chocolate salted stickies.
Put em in your mouth, and suck em!
Suck on my chocolate salted stickies,
there packed full of goodness, high on fiber.
Suck on my stickies.
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Dark
CPL
Good Demoman[Xb0:xXDarkDestroyer]
Posts: 80
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Post by Dark on Feb 16, 2009 0:00:26 GMT -5
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Post by wherewulfe on Feb 16, 2009 12:27:01 GMT -5
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Dark
CPL
Good Demoman[Xb0:xXDarkDestroyer]
Posts: 80
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Post by Dark on Feb 17, 2009 11:18:38 GMT -5
Me: What happened?
Whore (10:52:39 AM): ok so there were madd heads over like 50 kids
Whore (10:52:46 AM): and they made a ghetto beerpong table
Whore (10:53:01 AM): and me and justin were mad drunk and we went upstairs
Whore (10:53:19 AM): and i gave him a handy /bj and he came on his hand
Whore (10:53:28 AM): then he fingered me
Whore (10:53:50 AM): and when i walked out of the bathroom sean and jhustin were saying how i could get preggo from it
Whore (10:53:58 AM): so i creid with nicolde
Whore (10:54:07 AM): and nikki made me feel better
Whore (10:54:20 AM): and nicole got posining again from achohal
Whore (10:54:40 AM): and rissa called and there were cops coming so ppl left
Whore (10:55:04 AM): then me nikki corey dylan(thedevil) nicole kate and girls slept over
Whore (10:55:11 AM): and all the girls slept with guys
Whore (10:55:15 AM): we had tanks and shorts
Whore (10:55:20 AM): they had boxers
Whore (10:55:38 AM): and the neighbors saw everyone coming
Whore (10:55:43 AM): and leaving
Whore (10:55:58 AM): then they told my dad and he screamsed so im grounded forever
Whore (10:56:02 AM): but it was all worth itw
Me: You’re an idiot. Also next time, invite me to the party, bitch
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Dark
CPL
Good Demoman[Xb0:xXDarkDestroyer]
Posts: 80
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Post by Dark on Feb 17, 2009 16:20:39 GMT -5
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Post by Team Jerk on Feb 22, 2009 19:32:47 GMT -5
this intrigues me.... and will probably give Black a boner
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Post by Black on Feb 23, 2009 21:11:08 GMT -5
I'm hard as a fucking rock.
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Post by WiseMoeRon on Feb 24, 2009 11:09:07 GMT -5
I'm as hard as a rock fucking another rock
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Post by Black on Feb 24, 2009 21:45:27 GMT -5
I'm as hard as the hardest metal known to man. Diamond.
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Dark
CPL
Good Demoman[Xb0:xXDarkDestroyer]
Posts: 80
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Post by Dark on Feb 26, 2009 21:48:44 GMT -5
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Post by wherewulfe on Feb 28, 2009 22:27:17 GMT -5
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Dark
CPL
Good Demoman[Xb0:xXDarkDestroyer]
Posts: 80
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Post by Dark on Mar 13, 2009 22:21:31 GMT -5
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